What to do?

What does it accomplish to ask the coach what needs to be done to get more playing time?

I don't want my daughter asking that. For one, it's a self-centered. Coach doesn't care about giving one player more playing time. How does that help the coach? That only means less playing time for somebody else. The coach has no rooting interest in that. Coach cares about accomplishing team goals. So ask the coach how you can help accomplish team goals, not personal playing-time goals. And besides, I can already tell DD the answer to what she needs to do to get more playing time. It's almost always the same:

Change the coach's opinion, which is that the current lineup and rotation gives the team the best chance of accomplishing its goals, which is usually to win. You must convince him that playing you more than somebody else is a better strategy to accomplishing those goals. You must hit and/or field better than at least one of your teammates that currently is deemed superior by your coaches.

Simple as that. No need to ask.

Chuckaducky said:

new coach promised DD to be the #1 pitcher.

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Did he say she was the #1 pitcher when the teamed was formed at tryouts or did she say she would be the #1 pitcher period. As a coach at tryouts and when the team is formed I always explain in detail where the player currently stands and what we hope they will maintain. Whether they play at that level in the fall/winter/summer is a separate matter. You may start out as the #1 but end up the #3 that is largely based on how you and the other players play.

The moving to catcher from #1 pitcher is disconcerting. It appears the coach misjudged the pitchers ability (in his/her mind). A player may be the #1 pitcher on the team but may not be an actual #1 pitcher. There is a distinction. You can have a very good team with three #2 pitchers.

Chuckaducky said:

DD is 13. First year in TB. Moved with spring coach to new team; new coach promised DD to be the #1 pitcher. Coach laid it out right up front that we would play fall, take our lumps, grow and get better as a team and be ready to roll in spring. 3 tournaments in and he starts guesting in other pitchers. Giving DD very little to no circle time. DD pitched one game in last tourney where we won 6-3; DD got 5 pop outs and one grounder in 3 innings. Now this tourney upcoming he tells her he primarily wants her to catch, (DD also catches). The dilemma I am having is: do I step in and say something or do I make DD do it? I want her to stand up for herself; I feel coach needs to honor his commitment as he stated when we started up, "It's not about winning in the Fall." Any and all advice will be appreciated. THANKS!

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Several things here, first will start with the coach and the #1 comment. I coached for several years and never once told a pitcher what their position was on the team at tryouts, their performance dictated where they ended up in the rotation. Had a similar situation happen to my daughter twice where the coach said she was not the #1 pitcher, first time at the end of the season coach came to me and admitted she was his #1 pitcher. Second time is still ongoing and my daughter is challenging the other pitcher for the top spot. Coach should never have said that, but ends up being a challenge to my daughter to prove the coach wrong. Also for a pitcher to improve they need mound time, there is no substitute for it.

Second it sounds like your daughter is ok with the situation, if that is the case sit back watch. I would look for any change in her personality towards softball, the team or the coach. If everything continues to stay normal help her to become better and enjoy the time with her. If you notice any changes in her approach to softball then its time to re- evaluate the situation. If her skills are dropping off and there is no longer excitement to play then have a talk with her, find out what is bothering her and move forward from there.



Good luck!

Great advice above..

I agree with the opinion of having your DD pick either pitcher or catcher. You may be in a situation where your DD is the best catcher and he can't be without here there. Don't spend time trying to figure it out. You will go crazy doing that.
Aside from that don't get caught up on labels.. #1 pitcher is only good till she's not.... Not #1 as in her performance links to that.
One thing you can do is ask how pitchers are being evaluated. Is it wins? WHIP? K's vs BBs? Runs allowed? ERA? If you get an answer to that it may help you understand what the coach values in terms of performance.
From my experience having DD be the #1 pitcher did nothing to motivate her to get better. On her current team she is #1 #2 or #3 depending on the day... and it's made her work harder and want it more. Every kid is different but performance always wins.
Last thing is that you need to trust your coach. DD is on a new team this year... Last 2 seasons when she wasn't pitching she played SS.
This season they have her at 1B.. Not what I want to see but I trust the coach has a plan. Yes it's hard when I see a ball booted at short but I trust our coaches and know that they are doing the best thing for the team. I can say that this is the first year in the last 2 where I feel that way. Trust makes the whole thing so much easier.

I might have a different view. Our DD is a catcher and she's been catching about 25% of the time and the other girl about 75%. I've been encouraging her for weeks to talk to HC (in a "What can I do to improve" kind of way). She wouldn't do it. My husband mentioned something to him over breakfast yesterday when no one else was around and HC said "all she needs to do is ask" (to get answers). He was sitting back and waiting for her to take the lead. She talked to him yesterday and we ironed some stuff out. DD is 13 as well.

CMMom1740 said:

I might have a different view. Our DD is a catcher and she's been catching about 25% of the time and the other girl about 75%. I've been encouraging her for weeks to talk to HC (in a "What can I do to improve" kind of way). She wouldn't do it. My husband mentioned something to him over breakfast yesterday when no one else was around and HC said "all she needs to do is ask" (to get answers). He was sitting back and waiting for her to take the lead. She talked to him yesterday and we ironed some stuff out. DD is 13 as well.

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I don't really get why a coach would do that. Is he manipulative by nature? If he knows she wants more time behind the plate and her performance is earning it, why should she have to ask that? Back when my DD was on the team from hades she used to ask about pitching, not in a pushy or rude way, and 80+% of the replies I got here were for her to NOT ask because it annoys the coaches. I guess you can't win either way.

grcsftbll said:

I don't really get why a coach would do that. Is he manipulative by nature? If he knows she wants more time behind the plate and her performance is earning it, why should she have to ask that? Back when my DD was on the team from hades she used to ask about pitching, not in a pushy or rude way, and 80+% of the replies I got here were for her to NOT ask because it annoys the coaches. I guess you can't win either way.

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Well, I don't know if he was "lying in wait" for her to ask, but he is all about the girls advocating for themselves. My husband mentioned to him that she had some questions, and he was saying to get her to approach and to feel OK about approaching. He wasn't going to seek her out after we'd told him she had questions. And we weren't going to be the helicopter parents and do it for her. He gave her feedback about what she needs to work on and I think she was satisfied with the response.

Gotcha. That makes sense.

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CMMom1740 said:

... he is all about the girls advocating for themselves.

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How do you advocate for yourself?

I believe in players being assertive and talking with coaches in an effort to understand their role and to improve. Not in favor of the kind of advocating that puts the player's selfish needs ahead of the team, though. So not sure what the coach means by advocating.

Well, those are my words, not his. What I meant is that if she is unhappy with the amount of time she is catching and she can't see any glaring differences between her and the other catcher, it would be good to ask what she needs to work on in order to get more catching time. That's what she did. She was also last in the batting order over the last tournament and didn't understand why. She asked about that as well.