From best player to worst player

There is a balance...

Practice is for coaches and parents (and necessary - don't get me wrong) - however playing is for the player. Playing is the reward for all the work you put in, and while you might get better through the practices it is no fun not playing. You can get better being the best player on a medium level team getting lots of game reps if that team is challenging themselves to be better as a whole and you are getting good coaching and have motivation. Minimally as good as watching a better team from the bench but practicing with them.

This isn't everywhere else in the world where you can play a sport until you are 40+ years old. In the USA you play most sports - fastpitch included - until you hit the highest level you are capable of, then you stop. There is really not a lot of dropping level of play, especially in the older groups and with rec ball struggling in a lot of areas. Once you are done - you are for the most part done. Even if you go beyond college NPF is 6 teams - and already you are starting to see older players from parts of the world (Japan and Australia) starting to take roster spots because they have a stock of older 26-30 years old players who have continued to play beyond 22 years old and fully mature which is not typical in the USA

So lets say your DD starts to play around 8 years old... the absolute best case scenario is they play until they are 22 which if you hang around this forum you will know is way less likely than you would think even if they are capable.
Much more likely, most will be done by 14 when they enter high school or 17 or 18 when they leave high school.

So best case scenario - 14 years of playing. Possibly 10.. more likely for most girls, somewhere around 6 years.

And some people think spending one of those years just practicing is a good idea? That it is not more to accelerate the decision not to play even if they get better?

Sure - there may be exceptions and I have seen a couple. But I have seen way more parents who are delusional who say that their daughter is the exception when she absolutely wasn't.

Some coaches also pigeon hole girls and just can't seem to break out of it. They get a girl they see as one of the weaker players and no matter how much she improves she can't break out of that. Those aren't the good coaches, but there seem to be a decent number of not so good coaches out there.

I understand the frustrations.........

One step back, two steps forward!

One player had never played softball or any team sport, some how she survived.

She was iffy, then good.

A player made a comment on her and she quit.

Still annoys me.

I tell my kid... "Pressure is a privilege".
It takes a while but she eventually gets it.

Some good advice so far. Here's my $0.02. Being #12 out of 12 isn't the worst thing in the world. But if you can build a Wal-Mart in the gap between the abilities of #12 and #9.... that's not a good situation in my opinion. Unless that player has exceptional self confidence, and a burning desire to impress and improve, that can actually be discouraging, and work the opposite of what some may have said about "motivated to work hard to move up the ranks". I've seen enough examples in my time as a player of different sports and a coach of others where the inferior players start to believe just that... that they are inferior. "Learned Helplessness" is a real concept.

You obviously know your daughter better than any of us here spewing advice. Continue to evaluate the situation. Best of luck.

Yep...a similar situation for my kid. She went from being a top player on a team that had some talent, but also some anchors, to a team that's pretty decent from top to bottom. Saying she's the worst now is exaggerating, but she'll need to peddle faster with this new group. Nothing wrong with a little bit of challenge and struggle to go with the fun. To me, that's the point of doing this.

My DD currently is either the weakest or second-weakest on her team. Good news is that the coach staff is exceptional and value her like a person and not just a softball player, and so do her teammates. Good team chemistry, and she loves the team. But no question that it's a challenge feeling like you're a good player, having that swagger, when you are surrounded by players who are better.

So, what made your dd the best on the rec team? Was there a skill set? Was it just a significant size advantage? Can you identify it? Take what is her strength and try to capitalize on it. Identify her weakness, and just try to minimize it. It doesn't mean either will excel or make her the top, but, small improvements in both areas the weakness and the strengths, can do wonders for her confidence. It also, can make her a commodity to the coaches, and maybe earn her some more play time.