Tryout Disappointment

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May 12, 2016
4,338
113
For what its worth, DD had only two tryouts this season. The first tryout she looked like crap, especially fielding and pitching and was offered a spot on the team (I guess they saw through her poor tryout?). Her second tryout I thought she looked great, hit better than most of the other players and pitched beautifully. She wasn't asked back for a second tryout. The point is that you do the best you can, learn from the experience, and move on.

Weird how things work out sometimes. One thing she has going for her is the head coach this year is her head coach from last year.. he knows her potential and what she is capable of. However the organization has a system in place that scores each individual on how they perform during the tryout to prevent the head coach from picking his favorites. Of course there are the intangibles as well, attitude, effort etc, she's always had positive comments about this part of her game.

I am very critical of my daughters game, however in my heart I no she had a bad tryout, but it might not look so bad to others
 
May 12, 2016
4,338
113
Thank you for saying it.

I don't know why anybody would feel we haven't talked about it.. lol. The point is, how to move forward since it's already been discarded it. I was just wondering if an extra night at the field would be good or bad before the next tryout.... didn't know if some others have similar experiences and I wonder how they tackled it.
 
May 24, 2013
12,461
113
So Cal
Weird how things work out sometimes. One thing she has going for her is the head coach this year is her head coach from last year.. he knows her potential and what she is capable of. However the organization has a system in place that scores each individual on how they perform during the tryout to prevent the head coach from picking his favorites. Of course there are the intangibles as well, attitude, effort etc, she's always had positive comments about this part of her game.

I am very critical of my daughters game, however in my heart I no she had a bad tryout, but it might not look so bad to others

The only assessment they take into consideration is the player's performance at a tryout? Your DD under-performs at the tryout, and the coach - who knows her true capabilities on the field - is handcuffed from choosing her over a player who has an unusually good tryout performance. That's moronic...IMO. For most coaches I know, their "favorites" are players who work hard, have good attitudes, and perform well in pressure situations. Most of those things don't make themselves apparent in a one-day tryout. Why would you not want the coach to pick those players?
 

JAD

Feb 20, 2012
8,231
38
Georgia
I would try to get her out for 1/2 an hour and hit some balls to her or hit a little bit. Heck just play catch for a little bit if nothing else.

No coaching, she is what she is.

This^^^^ just do something that is fun and takes her mind off the stress of performing for new coaching staff.
 

Me_and_my_big_mouth

witty softball quote
Sep 11, 2014
437
18
Pacific NW
We have been making the rounds to the college camps and showcases, and one thing you'll hear over and over is, "We don't even care if they have a bad performance. We know an athlete when we see one. We are really watching for attitude - and that means how you behave and handle yourself when you don't perform the way you wanted to."

DD understands that every day can't be *her* day. So, when she's had less-than-stellar tryouts, she just knows that it wasn't her day. And yeah, it sucks for the moment - but we don't give our girls enough credit for having the ability to bounce back.

Two years later, my DD will now crack up laughing over a tryout where she botched everything and wasn't asked back - and was devastated and in tears on the car ride home. She worked through it, and determined that she wanted it too much. Ask her now, and she'll say, "Meh. Wasn't my team."

I think as parents we try really hard to keep them from getting hurt, or to protect them from failing. In reality, they're going to fail thousands of times - and they have to learn that a) it won't kill them and b) it isn't a shameful thing to fail.

Sounds like your smart kid will sort herself out, and come back stronger. Keep us posted!
 
Apr 23, 2014
389
43
East Jabib
Failure / not making a team was the best thing that happened to my daughter. It taught her a life lesson that nothing is handed to you, you need to work hard enough to not be denied. She went from being the only kid cut from our local travel team to top pitcher and player (by stats) on that same team the next season and then onto A level club ball the year after.

She has a saying by Pete Carroll written on her white board of goals "Either you're doing your best every day to compete or you're not".

Failure can be a game changer for some kids. It was for mine and I am thankful that it happened.
 
May 12, 2016
4,338
113
The only assessment they take into consideration is the player's performance at a tryout? Your DD under-performs at the tryout, and the coach - who knows her true capabilities on the field - is handcuffed from choosing her over a player who has an unusually good tryout performance. That's moronic...IMO. For most coaches I know, their "favorites" are players who work hard, have good attitudes, and perform well in pressure situations. Most of those things don't make themselves apparent in a one-day tryout. Why would you not want the coach to pick those players?

I agree Eric, it is moronic. She has always been complimented on her work ethic and great attitude. I know the head coach and he's coached my daughter, so he knows her as well. I would be very surprised if she didn't make this team. Anyway, that tryout has been forgotten about, she is in a good place mentally and confidence is soaring again. I hope the next tryout goes well
 
May 12, 2016
4,338
113
Thanks everybody! I know we all have been through this before and I am sure what some of you have to say will be an inspiration to my daughter
 
Oct 3, 2011
3,478
113
Right Here For Now
TB is a very small world although you might not think so considering the number of teams in your community, surrounding areas and nationwide. That said, any coach worth their salt knows the quality players in their immediate and surrounding areas. They also know of the many "standouts or studs" that could possibly come their way. Also, many teams have multiple tryouts and it's not uncommon for a player to tryout several times for a team that they really want to play for.

As an example, I had one player that was really rough as far as fielding goes and she primarily played a MI position. She came to all three tryouts and at every one of them, she showed marked improvement due to her Father working with her at home. After the third tryout, we offered her a spot and she accepted immediately. She was still a bit rough but had improved dramatically over the course of two weeks so we saw the work ethic involved.

Don't be afraid to address the situation as Sluggers suggested and make sure your DD understands that there is still an opportunity if this is the team of first choice; even if it's a private tryout. Many teams don't fill up from tryouts unless they have a huge core group of girls that want to remain with the team and coach. Otherwise, move on and forget it.
 

Merrill Danner

Relax and breathe!
Sep 26, 2012
130
16
74441 - Oklahoma
I don't know why anybody would feel we haven't talked about it.. lol. The point is, how to move forward since it's already been discarded it. I was just wondering if an extra night at the field would be good or bad before the next tryout.... didn't know if some others have similar experiences and I wonder how they tackled it.

My DD went to 8 tryouts this year, only got offer from one, but it was the team at the end of the day she had wanted all along.
Here are the basics of what happens during tryout time of the year.
I give DD a list of teams with upcoming tryouts.
She and I have a look at the teams I have found that are holding tryouts: Social media, ASA and USAAA.
Try to find information on the coaching staff, who are they what are they like, again social media is a good indicator.
She gives me a list of the teams she want to tryout with.
Prepping for tryouts, no different than regular practices, by this time in the year she has a well-developed skill set, start changing things now asking for problem in my opinion.
Since she is a pitcher and not many teams in our area want one trick ponies, she does have me throw in a couple of extra in-field fielding practices, fore and back hand, running and diving catches, throwing from knees, one knee that kind of stuff. Using a pitching machine to get the ball there, my bat is not consistent.
Day/Night before tryouts, early to bed good food, no junk food or pop.
Day of, depending on time of tryout, if in the AM get her to the field 30 minutes early to get in stretching and walk around and get blood moving as well as be there before the coaches start to arrive.
If in PM, same as AM but sometime she will want to do a little throwing and tee-hitting before we leave the house. Tryouts for her are about an hour and a half away. Still get there at least 30 minutes early.
After tryout, she gets to talk, tells me about what she thinks.
I can’t suggestions or critique of the tryout, as soon as she engages with the coach of the team, I remove myself from the area and don’t watch. Sometimes I just talk a walk, others I will go to another field and watch other teams hold their tryouts, but above all I don’t watch.
I think this is important. Because when she starts telling how it felt or how it happened, I am not going to sit there and try and argue with her about what I saw, this is her gig, not mine, she has done the work, I am only there to provide transportation and an ear to hear what she is saying, advice if it is solicited.
Here is a few of the questions I get to ask:
How do you like the team?
How do you like the coach?
How do you like the way they executed the tryout?
Do they seem organized?
How are the girls who are already part of the team?
Any bad attitudes from current players?
How do you think you performed?
What do you think you did the best?
What do you think you need to work on?
Did you have fun?
Did you say yes sir and no sir?
Is this a team you would want to spend the next year with?
 

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