Advice

Welcome to Discuss Fastpitch

Your FREE Account is waiting to the Best Softball Community on the Web.

Jun 24, 2013
31
0
Jacksonville
I need some perspective from some that might have been in this situation before.

My daughter has played for the same coach for 2 years now. I consider him a good man, but to be honest he let me down a bit. His daughter was a year younger than the rest of the team. He had stated prior to our team moving up to 10U that he would coach the team until it was time to move up to 12U but sadly due to an angry parent/Assistant coach he made the choice to step down and disband his team. His daughter of course moved to the younger team of the same franchise. He did what was best for her long term, so I can’t fault him.

So now as a softball parent I have to deal with the worst situation you can deal with. There are four teams locally, two are new.

1. Team has had no public drama, wins and no parents leaving the team. Late Tryout. Coach had an issue two years ago with drinking at tournaments. That would worry me, but this issue seems to be resolved with the amount of parent support he established since.
2. One team has had several roster transitions for the last two years, including two assistant coaches leaving the team and forming new ones. Very stoic and Angry coach been the heart of two AC’s leaving and forming new teams, but they really need my daughters skill set. Early TryOut
3. Is a new team, formed by the assistant coach from team 2 who walked away with their starting pitcher and catcher. This coach is unknown to me, but it’s not in my nature to quit things you start and that worries me. Early Try Out.
4. Team 4 is a coach who runs a franchise for tax reasons, throws a team toghter every two years just to keep it going. Not really an option.

I would like to place her on team 1, but their tryout is late and while my daughter is a very strong player I couldn’t imagine that coach would have many if any openings this fall.
I just couldn’t imagine trying out for one of the early rosters then leaving in the fall if an roster spot opened up, But being loyal to a coach has already put me in this situation.
 
Aug 30, 2015
286
28
Team 3 has the fewest red flags.

With what you've presented, why even consider Teams 1 or 2?

How many stories on this board have we all read of families wanting to give one more chance to whatever situation, blow thru the red flags, and end up getting burned again.

Kids grow up too fast. Why waste more time.
 
Last edited:
Jun 24, 2013
31
0
Jacksonville
Team one has ha d a solid year without a single player leaving. Only reason I could argue team 2 is my daughter's skillset would be a huge need for them. I just don't know anything about team 3, other than they left team two and tried to take the team with them and wound up taking the pitcher and catcher.
 

marriard

Not lost - just no idea where I am
Oct 2, 2011
4,312
113
Florida
I love insights from how people think....

If these are truly your only options...

I would target Teams One and Three and I would not be waiting for tryouts.

There is no reason you can't start talking to these coaches today to see who they are and what they would think of your DD. Most tryouts for established teams are only for a player or two anyway - you may find you can get a guarantee of a spot before tryouts if your DD is good enough. We get calls about next season all the time that let us know about interest in our team(s) and we also have players we want to target for spots after the season is over that we talk to regularly.

While our team does officially run tryouts every season, it is only for 'just in case someone unexpected turns up' - we have our team in place already with 1 spot we will fill if the right player turns up (but if they don't, we have the players for a team anyway). I would want a lot more info on team three before joining, and also with team one.

Team two out because... I mean how are are you even thinking about this? Of course this teams needs you DD's skills - the coach is clearly someone you shouldn't want your DD playing for.. some people have clearly not discovered this early enough. Not even sure why you even included Team Four.
 
Last edited:
Jun 12, 2015
3,848
83
I'd investigate 1 and 3 some more. Get more details on the nature of the alcohol issue with 1. I think sneaking a beer in a to go cup isn't particularly uncommon, but this is a coach and not a parent we're talking about which seems worse. Plus was it a beer to chill between games or was he drunk? Was it once or was it repeated (sounds repeated which is definitely more of a red flag)? Does he have an actual drinking problem and what is he doing about it? I don't think it'd be an automatic no for me without more info but it definitely knocks them down the list. Since the list is so tiny though, it probably wouldn't eliminate the team completely without learning a little more about the details. Team 3 sounds the best on paper. It sounds like the coach he walked away from was pretty awful. I'd want to get my kid away from an angry coach too.
 
Sep 29, 2014
2,421
113
Yeah I'm with [MENTION=5070]marriard[/MENTION] and [MENTION=13032]grcsftbll[/MENTION]

Are you 100% sure your DD would make the roster for Team 1 sounds like they might not have many roster spots open if nobody is leaving and everyone is happy.

Would definitely do a little research on Team 3 and let them know you are interested, when you tryout if you are still interested in Team 1 and get a callback from Team 3 you might have a hard call to make but be honest and if he won't hold the spot you have to decide but usually tryouts are basically the first couple weeks of August at least around here and while coaches want girls to commit as early as possible if they REALLY want your DD they will wait a week or two.
 
Last edited:
Jun 11, 2013
2,619
113
I would call up team 1 today and ask coach if she can practice with them. See how she stacks up with them. Also talk to 3 and see what the deal is.
 
Jun 24, 2013
31
0
Jacksonville
My daughter is a strong player, she is always a top four player on a TB roster in the local area but never a top one if that make sense. She could make the 1st team but I question if a spot even opens myself. Why mess with team chemistry that works.

I don't really know any details of anything other than hear say.

I do appreciate everyone advice, my gut tells me to go to team three. I just don't want to mess up, my daughter is still young and loves this game. Which is the most important thing I don't want to risk.
 
May 22, 2015
410
28
Illinois
We had a situation very similar to #3 a few years ago. For us it was the right move at the time. There was no drama, and the girls and parents got along great. I still talk to most of them on a regular basis even though we are not on the team. However.....being a first year team we struggled to compete in games. The more teams pop up the thinner the talent gets spread out, especially in smaller communities. On my list #2 & 4 would most likely be out.
 
Jun 14, 2016
1
0
Wow, you are describing 10u in our area. We are in the same boat as team 3. Not going to air dirty laundry, just going to say that in our case the AC & player that left (catcher) were very justified. No team stealing here,although they were accused. The original coach made it his business to cause problems for the ones that left. My advice is to call & talk to the coaches of the teams you are interested in joining.
 

Members online

Forum statistics

Threads
42,830
Messages
679,481
Members
21,445
Latest member
Bmac81802
Top