Advice for stressed out new travel ball parent....

Welcome to Discuss Fastpitch

Your FREE Account is waiting to the Best Softball Community on the Web.

Sep 18, 2015
8
0
A question I would love feedback on: how much do you guys share with your daughters what is going on in your head? I am stressed about pitching time, playing time, etc... as my daughter is one of the weaker players on her 12U team (I played her up and realized maybe this was a mistake, but too late, so we will finish the season.) This stuff stresses me out, and I need to learn not to wear it on my sleeve when I'm with my daughter.

I wish I had been more ready emotionally for travel ball... Playing time wasn't an issue for us before because she was usually one of the better house players, or the best pitcher on the team. But playing up in 12U travel is a whole new world I was not ready for myself.

Any tips? What do you share with your daughters and what do you not share? My daughter is 10, first year of travel ball, and I think I'm starting to stress her out. So I am desparate for advice on how to STOP stressing her out!

Thank you in advance!
 
Nov 23, 2014
84
0
Going from 10u rec to 12u travel is a big jump! Just hang in there, and then breathe, and re-evaluate after the season is over.
 
Dec 19, 2012
1,428
0
msamom, is SHE having fun?

You already admit she is one of the weaker players on this particular team. That in itself is a huge admission. Many parents in your situation are unwilling to admit this to themselves. You are half way there. The other half is to tell yourself and make peace with the fact that given your daughter's situation, she will not get the pitching and playing time that other kids on the team are getting. This is a great time to acknowledge your dd for working hard, being a good teammate, and telling her that her time will come. Venting in front of your daughter could push her away from the game. An upset and bothered parent usually means and upset and bothered child.
 
Dec 3, 2012
636
16
West Coast
Not the best idea to bring it up as she might be having a great time trying to learn and compete but at the same time be oblivious to your worries. Leave it up to her to speak up if it's something that she is thinking about.

After both of you going through the 12U routine this year she will be ahead of the curve of next years first year 12's. Also in the fall you will be more educated about what team she should be on next year.
 
Oct 2, 2015
615
18
msamom, is SHE having fun?

You already admit she is one of the weaker players on this particular team. That in itself is a huge admission. Many parents in your situation are unwilling to admit this to themselves. You are half way there. The other half is to tell yourself and make peace with the fact that given your daughter's situation, she will not get the pitching and playing time that other kids on the team are getting. This is a great time to acknowledge your dd for working hard, being a good teammate, and telling her that her time will come. Venting in front of your daughter could push her away from the game. An upset and bothered parent usually means and upset and bothered child.

This right here ^^^^
Scary as heck?...Maybe...but so are roller coasters...just enjoy the ride.
If your DD is scared of playing up, or isn't having fun, she'll let you know. But I wouldn't share your fears with her.
It could be better in the long run to see how she competes while playing up.
It's more advantageous to have them play up and compete at a higher level, than play down and sand bag.

Good Luck
 
Sep 18, 2015
8
0
You all are awesome -- I really really appreciate all the advice. So now how do you undo any damage? Like if I had said: "Hmm..I do wonder what it would have been like if you had played with that 10U TB team." She has said she knows she probably won't get much playing time, seems a bit down about it, but she's trying to keep a good attitude.
 
Apr 12, 2016
316
28
Minnesota
Some kids are fine playing on a better team and not playing as much and some kids want to be on the field all the time. I think that girls generally learn more and get better more quickly on a better team. However, if they aren't having fun it is not worth it.

Keep your concerns to yourself. I have found that most of the kids who are concerned about where they bat in the order or what position they play learned that from their parents. You should stay positive about the team. If she is no longer enjoying the game, that is a whole different story.

You say lack of playing time. Does that mean she sits for whole games or never gets to bat? If she is splitting time and gets to bat she should be fine. If she sits during bracket play in every tournament that can get old quickly.
 
Jun 11, 2012
741
63
As long as she is having fun and learning I'd just roll with it. It's still early in the spring/summer season and a lot of things can change. It's a wild ride but so worth it if she is having fun.

My DD is a HS sophomore now and has been playing TB since she was 8. We've had good seasons and bad seasons, good coaches and bad coaches, good teammates and bad teammates but I've always let her be the driving force in which team she wanted to play for. if she brought up an issue then we'd talk about it but if I thought there was an issue and she didn't bring it up I'd vent to a friend and not tell DD about it.
 

Forum statistics

Threads
42,831
Messages
679,489
Members
21,445
Latest member
Bmac81802
Top