How to handle a "helicopter dad"

Ramchicken · Oct 9, 2015

My DD is on a 18u team and has been for the past 2 years, a dad of a new girl on the team that moved up from the 16u Will not be more than 5 feet from the dug out during games. Apparently he was a coach in the lower level and was trying to work his way into coaching this team too. He was removed from coaching at the lower level IDK the reason. Between innings he lends advice to some of the girls weather they want it or not. From watching him the last couple of years he is only there for his DD who is average at best (thankfully she doesn't pitch). Before the season I spoke to the HC and asked if ANY parents would be coaching and he assured he that there wouldn't be. What should we do if he does work his way into coaching? Should we talk to the HC again after the fall season and ask his plans? My DD is a senior and will be playing in college next year so should we just ignore it? As parents we have sat in the outfield since my DD was 7 or 8 and started playing making sure she had what she needed before the games drinks and such, and stay away from the dugout area. Just looking for some advice.

riseball · Oct 9, 2015

Ramchicken said:
My DD is on a 18u team and has been for the past 2 years, a dad of a new girl on the team that moved up from the 16u Will not be more than 5 feet from the dug out during games. Apparently he was a coach in the lower level and was trying to work his way into coaching this team too. He was removed from coaching at the lower level IDK the reason. Between innings he lends advice to some of the girls weather they want it or not. From watching him the last couple of years he is only there for his DD who is average at best (thankfully she doesn't pitch). Before the season I spoke to the HC and asked if ANY parents would be coaching and he assured he that there wouldn't be. What should we do if he does work his way into coaching? Should we talk to the HC again after the fall season and ask his plans? My DD is a senior and will be playing in college next year so should we just ignore it? As parents we have sat in the outfield since my DD was 7 or 8 and started playing making sure she had what she needed before the games drinks and such, and stay away from the dugout area. Just looking for some advice.

Parents as coaches are not necessarily a problem and without them many teams would not exist. My 3 AC's have kids on the team but they know how to wear multiple hats. On an 18U team what you describe would be an issue for two reasons. The first is that this dad will probably keep his DD from getting recruited. The second is that he may impact the ability of others to get recruited. To your point this situation needs to be addressed by the HC quickly and decisively. If not you need to find new team with effective leadership since there are probably other issues that are not being addressed.

grcsftbll · Oct 9, 2015

That's really annoying even at my DD's age (10U). I would probably just ask the dad not to give my kid advice or coaching, that you like to choose who coaches her (or have her choose) and it can be confusing getting input from random people. Though I can also see the benefit of taking it up with the HC instead. Either way I don't think I'd do nothing.

maksoftball · Oct 9, 2015

Discuss with the HC and let him handle it. Do not handle yourself...hopefully the HC will approach him sooner than later. Might help if other parents bring it up to HC too.

riseball · Oct 9, 2015

If we get to the point that we start seeing an issue we usually have a team meeting that includes both the players AND the parents. We reiterate several points regarding the expected protocol. Nobody is specifically singled out, but everybody usually know what it is about. After that if they do not get the hint, we have a private conversation.

quincy · Oct 9, 2015

DD has stopped listening to random people during the game a long time ago so I am not worried about her.

If it annoys you say something once to the HC. If they care they will do something, if they do not they will not.

I am not sure why if they do become a coach it is an Issue but if it is again let organization know your thoughts.

quincy · Oct 9, 2015

By the way what you described would not bother me as a parent, I really don’t care. Like you I sit in right field and enjoy the game now.

As a HC it would be stopped but I am not DD's HC anymore.

#7sDad · Oct 9, 2015

riseball said:
issue for two reasons. The first is that this dad will probably keep his DD from getting recruited. The second is that he may impact the ability of others to get recruited.

This was the first thing I thought as well. Stay away from the dugout!

djcarter1966 · Oct 9, 2015

Just a quick conversation with HC should hopefully do the trick...just double checking that there are no plans for new coaches and all parents should be in the stands and NOT yelling instructions at the kids.

Especially at 18U these kids know what they are doing wrong and what they need to work on, the HC is there to remind them and coach the game strategy.

grcsftbll · Oct 9, 2015

On our team we had to sign a code of conduct that included no coaching from the parents, and parents have to stay away from the dugout. I approve of this rule.

How to handle a "helicopter dad"

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