Loyalty...it is a two way street

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Jun 19, 2014
846
43
Raleigh,NC
Loyalty is something that I keep hearing coaches bringing up. They want loyal players that is willing to commit to a team. But in the same token, these same coaches that preach loyalty will bench a player or cut them from the team with the hopes of the next superstar joining the roster. If a loyal player shows up to all the team practice, through sickness and health...attend all the fundraisers and never miss a tournament, but in return sit on the bench every tournament,watching guest players play the entire tournament because loyalty means nothing since the coaches say they will only play their players that will win games. How does this coach know these guest players are great? Because their parents say so. Any good parent will be loyal to their child, that is expected. Which, by the way, still lost games with these guest players. The point I am making, be honest with the parents...if the coach feel they cannot use your child, tell them...don't drag them alone the way preaching loyalty when you have none. Just like you want a player to be loyal, a parent and their child, who invest tons of money and time into travel ball, should be treated with the same loyalty you expect from them.
 

Cannonball

Ex "Expert"
Feb 25, 2009
4,854
113
Crystal, didn't you have this problem last year as well? Did you have your dd switch teams? I can't speak for others but I'd be darn if my child sat for guest players when I pay my fees, do my team commitments etc. Oh, I wouldn't mind an inning here and there in some type of rotation with other players as well. This year is still young, I'd start looking now for another team and if I found one, I'd make the move quickly.
 
Feb 7, 2013
3,188
48
The best way for coaches to have "loyalty" to your DD is to have her work her butt off so that she becomes such an asset to the team that they have to give her more playing time. If that isn't good enough, you find a team that is a better fit. I think most players during their softball career are faced with "disloyal" coaches. You can either be a victim or you work hard at your position and skills to get much better. For example, this weekend while most kids will be camping and BBQ with family and friends, I'm making sure that DD practices pitching 2x and my son works on his hitting.
 
Jan 14, 2015
95
0
I'm not going to advocate guest players unless it's for a position the is lacking depth for that particular weekend. So I am sympathetic to your gripe with guest players if it's appropriate.

Aside from that I feel you are confusing loyalty with commitment. Attendance is expected and required and does not earn special benefits. Attending every date does not mean you are loyal, it means you are committed and dedicated, which is good. The coach is starting the best nine on Sunday's to give the team the best chance of winning. That's a sign that he is loyal to the system and agenda that was put in place on day one.

Loyalty is a weird animal. A coach must be loyal to the teams agenda and each players personal needs and goals. The players must be loyal to the teams agenda and the coaching staffs system to achieve all those goals. If everyone "buys into" all that the systems set in place will produce the efforts needed to achieve the results everyone's trying to reach. Being loyal means you are allowing the system to work and you put your best efforts forward as part of that system. If you do that, good things will happen for the team and personally for your daughter.
 
Jun 7, 2013
984
0
I think that I've learned that loyalty, dedication, commitment doesn't matter. What's matters is that your DD is the best and the she will play on Sunday--unless, of course, "daddy ball" rules.
 
Jan 14, 2015
95
0
I think that I've learned that loyalty, dedication, commitment doesn't matter. What's matters is that your DD is the best and the she will play on Sunday--unless, of course, "daddy ball" rules.

And as long as a daddy is coaching there will be daddy ball, it's rarely avoided. BUT no one likes the hear or say daddy ball so we'll just say nepotism can run rampant a times, and it's a shame.
 
Jun 7, 2013
984
0
And as long as a daddy is coaching there will be daddy ball, it's rarely avoided. BUT no one likes the hear or say daddy ball so we'll just say nepotism can run rampant a times, and it's a shame.

I've got an interesting situation with my oldest DD this year who plays 16U A. The same coach who kept my DD from making an "A" for many years, finally took her on the A team. This coach has a DD who pitches and has been advancing his DDs prospects over mine since 4th grade. However, I think that his position that his DD is a better pitcher than my DD became totally untenable this year. My DD was one of the top pitchers for a highly ranked high school team this past year while his DD played the outfield and rarely pitched. However, one should not underestimate the "daddy ball" nature of softball. This year will be interesting.
 
Jun 19, 2014
846
43
Raleigh,NC
Crystal, didn't you have this problem last year as well? Did you have your dd switch teams? I can't speak for others but I'd be darn if my child sat for guest players when I pay my fees, do my team commitments etc. Oh, I wouldn't mind an inning here and there in some type of rotation with other players as well. This year is still young, I'd start looking now for another team and if I found one, I'd make the move quickly.


My daughter isn't playing travel ball anymore, just doing rec ball. I was just reflecting back, since I have heard other coaches talk about wanting loyal players. I have called a team since dd quit that team about her trying out, when I was told they wanted loyalty from their players but we cannot guarantee your daughter will play. The only spots that were guaranteed was the coaches daughter. They were worried about loyalty since an entire team left their organization to form a new team.
 

JAD

Feb 20, 2012
8,231
38
Georgia
Every situation is different, but I cannot tell you how many times I have seen a parent push their DD to join a TB team that is "over her head". If your DD is playing 10U, 12U or 14U she needs to be on a team where she will get playing time. If she wants to play college softball her goal should be to play on a solid A-level team by 16U. College coaches do not care which team she played for at 12U or the fact that her team went to ASA Nationals at 14U.....travel softball is a marathon, not a sprint - too many parents and players come out in a sprint and get "burned out" before they finish the race.
 

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