I just don't know why she just won't quit

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Oct 8, 2014
102
0
My daughter plays travel ball and sits the bench the entire time except maybe 2-3 innings in pool games and lucky to play 2 innings total in all the bracket games. Some tournaments she don't get to play at all. I asked the coach if maybe she can help with the scorecard or find her some type of role on the team such as keep track of the batting order...all I get is nothing. We have played 4 tournaments and every single guest player except for 1 has batted more times than my daughter combined in all those tournament. I suggested that my daughter quit the travel ball team because quite frankly it is expensive to pay for travel, gas, food and tournament fees if she gets no playing time, no role nor any functional part of the team. Instead, she gets offended and thinks I am being just as bad as everyone else who doubt her. She wants to work on getting better in order to play on the team. Why keep getting her feelings hurt every tournament when the team bring in guest players in order for her to sit while they play the entire tournament? My daughter actually said,"it hurt my feelings when the coach would prefer to use anyone else to play than her." I told her to quit while she is playing rec ball and use that time to develop and get better...then tryout for a travel ball team. She refuses...she says she is not a quitter. Ugh...the frustrations of seeing your child struggle to get to a level that she isn't at, yet...no one recognize the time and effort she puts into getting better. Even being a pool pitcher would be great to help her become better but the team would prefer to use guest pitchers to help their star pitcher out in pool and bracket games. Her team already has one good pitcher, they don't need her nor have any use for her.
 
Last edited:
Nov 6, 2013
771
16
Baja, AZ
Try to believe in her. Maybe talk to her and determine what tools she needs to better develop. Then get them for her, and give it some time.
 
May 7, 2008
8,506
48
Tucson
Come to Tucson on vacation. I will spend some time with her, on the ball field. (We can ask ^, to come.) I understand where she is coming from. I was there. I remember 40 years ago, my coach let a guest play, before I did.
 
Jun 27, 2011
5,089
0
North Carolina
What age division? What were the expectations on playing time that were stated by the coach before the season began?

If your daughter doesn't have any problems with the current setup, except for hurt feelings and frustration, then let her ride it out. But I certainly would make her aware of her other options, such as finding a team that is a better fit.

I assume this is a younger team. In most cases, coaches who sit players to the extent you are describing are in it more for themselves than for the kids they coach.
 
Jun 19, 2014
846
43
Raleigh,NC
Come to Tucson on vacation. I will spend some time with her, on the ball field. (We can ask ^, to come.) I understand where she is coming from. I was there. I remember 40 years ago, my coach let a guest play, before I did.

That would be awesome....would definanetly consider taking you up on the offer.
 
Jun 11, 2012
741
63
Does she take pitching lessons? If not, she should be if she really wants to pitch.

Does she play a secondary position? If not I would have her consider it. It's hard to be a pitcher especially one starting as late as she is.

It sucks that the coach is bringing in a guest every week to pitch instead of her.
 
May 6, 2014
532
16
Low and outside
You know who should have quit? Custer. :p

Your daughter needs to understand that a) you don't doubt her, you doubt the process that appears to be stacked against her; and b) quitting something doesn't make you "a quitter." A quitter is someone who habitually gives up as soon as things don't go their way. In this case she appears to be in a no-win situation, and she needs to walk away and find a one that suits her needs.

Kids need on-field (i.e. game) experience to get better. Your daughter needs to find a team that will play her, even if they are bad. DS was on a 14U travel baseball team a few years ago. We thought they would be competitive. They weren't, and their games were incredibly frustrating to watch (and coach). But, DS played a ton of innings, got tons of at-bats, and gained more improvement from that experience than any previous. It's your money; tell her you are done subsidizing some other guest player's tournament experience. If you wanted to spend hundreds of dollars to watch someone else's kid play, you could go to a Major League Baseball game.
 
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Oct 8, 2014
102
0
Does she take pitching lessons? If not, she should be if she really wants to pitch.

Does she play a secondary position? If not I would have her consider it. It's hard to be a pitcher especially one starting as late as she is.

It sucks that the coach is bringing in a guest every week to pitch instead of her.

She takes pitching and batting lessons...when she isn't playing school ball, she practices on her own. Her secondary position was once 2nd base but she never gets to play that position anymore. On school ball, she only pitches. Every once in awhile she goes to outfield, but she isn't too comfortable in that position...yet.
 
Oct 3, 2009
372
18
My daughter plays travel ball and sits the bench the entire time except maybe 2-3 innings in pool games and lucky to play 2 innings total in all the bracket games. Some tournaments she don't get to play at all. I asked the coach if maybe she can help with the scorecard or find her some type of role on the team such as keep track of the batting order...all I get is nothing. We have played 4 tournaments and every single guest player except for 1 has batted more times than my daughter combined in all those tournament. I suggested that my daughter quit the travel ball team because quite frankly it is expensive to pay for travel, gas, food and tournament fees if she gets no playing time, no role nor any functional part of the team. Instead, she gets offended and thinks I am being just as bad as everyone else who doubt her. She wants to work on getting better in order to play on the team. Why keep getting her feelings hurt every tournament when the team bring in guest players in order for her to sit while they play the entire tournament? My daughter actually said,"it hurt my feelings when the coach would prefer to use anyone else to play than her." I told her to quit while she is playing rec ball and use that time to develop and get better...then tryout for a travel ball team. She refuses...she says she is not a quitter. Ugh...the frustrations of seeing your child struggle to get to a level that she isn't at, yet...no one recognize the time and effort she puts into getting better. Even being a pool pitcher would be great to help her become better but the team would prefer to use guest pitchers to help their star pitcher out in pool and bracket games. Her team already has one good pitcher, they don't need her nor have any use for her.

It is hard to get complete context from a single post, but based on your description, it sounds like your DD is the kind of person that I think is sadly way too rare in this world. She is willing to work and compete for a position without expecting something to be handed to her. Many in this situation would simply quit and have a parent form a team around her and declare "success". Forget softball for a moment, if she keeps this "never quit" attitude she will be VERY successful in life and you should be very proud of her. Just my two cents.

Now on the softball side, if she wants to get better she does need circle time. There is simply no substitute. And despite her great attitude sometimes the right thing to do is find a better fit or maybe the coach will let her pitch on the side for other teams? When my DD was younger she did guest whenever she could just to get circle time. Depending on your area there are probably teams that are better fits and it is not quitting when you are simply trying to find the best fit to improve. And finally bringing in guests to pitch ahead of full-time players on your team is the height of sleaze. Again just my two cents. :)
 

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