When does daughter handle her own problems - Page 2 - Tons of softball drills, softball tips, and advice on softball hitting, softball pitching, coaching softball, softball training, and more.

frustratedmom · 06-18-2008, 04:58 PM

No - told to sit at first. FYI coaches daughter is the pitcher

Bish2 · 06-18-2008, 10:19 PM

My college coach expected me as the pitcher to cover +90% of the bunts. So tell her that instead of fighting it or getting upset to use it as a learning situation, that way a couple years down the road she might see that again and think hey I understand what their doing.

Look at a chocolate chip cookie recipe, each one is different in some way but they all taste dang good.

frustratedmom · 06-19-2008, 02:36 PM

Thanks - I appreciate the discussion. Its going to be a LONG learning situation this season,

but at least now I see the value of letting it slide.

kenkrause · 06-23-2008, 04:23 AM

Different coaches run different coverrages. As long as they're clear about where everyone goes the girls will adjust.

More to the point of the original question, though, at 16U it's better if the players talk to the coach themselves. As a 16U coach myself I'm much more interested in what the players have to say than what their parents have to say. Players who question things are at least thinking, and that's critical if you're ever going to be any good at it.

Comp · 06-23-2008, 05:09 AM

My daughter started at 14U level. I have always been one that believed the coach is the coach, and what they say goes........to a point. For the more minor issues, and her coaches also only wanted to deal with the kids. Ultimately, however, it was her mother and I that were signing the monthly checks and wether the coaches wanted to deal with parents or not, if we had an issue that we felt needed to be addressed, we would talk to them.

As she progressed and started playing 18Gold, we more or less just stepped back and made her handle everything on her own. Occasionally we would talk to the coaches about certain things, or the coach may talk to us, but most everything was her responsibility.

I am still one that feels the coach is the ultimate authority, but, I draw the line when it crosses to abuse.

frustratedmom · 06-23-2008, 07:36 PM

99% of the time we would never interfere. My dd has always been a "yes" kind of kid and has adjusted, but many have not and teams are now bunting on us at will because our team doesn't have the physicality to handle this play. I guess frustrations are just coming to a head and the girls will just have to step up their play more. I would like to believe that if the coach wouldn't be so "pig-headed" about advice from his assistants we wouldn't be so frustrated. Again I appreciate the advice, it has been very constructive .

ang4yanks · 06-23-2008, 09:29 PM

Frustrated...

I don't see anything wrong with asking for clarification. It sounds to me as if he is trying to teach fielding a slap bunt...perhaps he is saying "bunt" and meaning slap bunt or maybe they are confusing a bunt with a slap bunt. It is unusual, to me, that a second baseman would cover a standard bunt.

If asked respectively, I think it is an intelligent question. For many years we taught our children that the coach is the authority out there, and they were to do as told. If we saw something which seemed to theoretically oppose what they had been taught or what we thought was correct, we asked the coach after practice.

As they have gotten older, they usually confer with us first about their question. If we cannot answer it, we will help them research the answer. They take the information or question to the coach, and if it does not yield results, we usually will speak to the coach after practice. Sometimes we find a misinterpretation. Sometimes it is a difference of opinion. When it is a difference of opinion, as athlete/parents, we usually talk through the options.

A good leader embraces good questions and teaches off of them. Respect is the foundation of good communication...it is a superhighway that runs in both directions and has many intersections. If you are in a situation where the staff, athletes, and parents are respectful, I would imagine this situation will rectify itself quickly.

Ang

frustratedmom · 06-25-2008, 06:12 PM

I think respect is the key here. The coach doesn't show much of it to the assistant coaches and we are seeing the same tendencies with the players. It looks like the team may dissolve soon, a shame for those girls who might not get other opportunities on other teams.

P.S.I don't want to get off the topic about dd's handling issues, but FYI - The bunt coverage doesn't change ever, even with runners on base.

2MinuteRecruit.com · 10-13-2008, 04:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by frustratedmom

My daughter and her new team have a new coach who is frustrating them by doing things his way. It is different from all of their high school training and while they are trying to do what the coach wants, it is confusing and causing errors. My question is this: at 16U I feel they need to take it upon themselves to talk to the coach as a team and not have the parents interfere. Am I right? As a parent I am concerned about saying anything because we don't want to come off as problem parents, but the players are getting frustrated and quite frankly so are we. The assistant coaches have tried to express their concerns, but it is not working. Any ideas or comments?

I just wanted to comment on your post. I have played D1 as well as coached D1 and now am a private pitching coach. When it comes to communication with the parents, I set some boundaries. If the girl is under 18or not a senior in HS, I typically communicate with the parents. If they are very responsible, or bring someone other than a parent to catch for them at their lessons, I will communicate with them. I am referring to scheduling, cancellations, or questions about style. The reason I do this is because I remember being 15 or 16 and not having great communications skills and having a lot of fear of confrontation. Any coach that is coaching girls under 18 should expect and respect the fact the parents will be talking with them about their child. Because they are still KIDS, not grown adults.
Heather
College Sports Recruiting

slider201 · 10-19-2008, 05:53 PM

from Wiki: Helicopter Parent:

... a parent who pays extremely close attention to his or her child's or children's experiences and problems, particularly at educational institutions. These parents rush to prevent any harm or failure from befalling them and will not let them learn from their own mistakes, sometimes even contrary to the children's wishes. They are so named because, like helicopters, they hover closely overhead, rarely out of reach, whether their children need them or not. In Scandinavia, this phenomenon is known as curling parenthood and describes parents who attempt to sweep all obstacles out of the paths of their children.

Their late-wave baby-boomer parents in turn earned notoriety for practices such as calling their children each morning to wake them up for class and complaining to their professors about grades the children had received. Some of these parents had, in fact, chosen the child's college, and hired consultants to help fine-tune the application process. Summer camp officials have also reported similar behavior from parents.

The rise of the cell phone is often blamed for the explosion of helicopter parenting — it has been called "the world's longest umbilical cord".

06-18-2008, 04:58 PM	#11 (permalink)
frustratedmom Junior Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Posts: 23	When does daughter.... No - told to sit at first. FYI coaches daughter is the pitcher

06-19-2008, 02:36 PM	#13 (permalink)
frustratedmom Junior Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Posts: 23	When does a daughter... Thanks - I appreciate the discussion. Its going to be a LONG learning situation this season,but at least now I see the value of letting it slide.

06-23-2008, 04:23 AM	#14 (permalink)
kenkrause Super Moderator Join Date: May 2008 Location: Mundelein, IL Posts: 221	Different coaches run different coverrages. As long as they're clear about where everyone goes the girls will adjust. More to the point of the original question, though, at 16U it's better if the players talk to the coach themselves. As a 16U coach myself I'm much more interested in what the players have to say than what their parents have to say. Players who question things are at least thinking, and that's critical if you're ever going to be any good at it. __________________ Mundelein Thunder 18U Danes Fastpitch Contributing editor, Softball Magazine Life in the Fastpitch Lane

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06-18-2008, 10:19 PM	#12 (permalink)
Bish2 Junior Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Fond du Lac, WI Posts: 23	My college coach expected me as the pitcher to cover +90% of the bunts. So tell her that instead of fighting it or getting upset to use it as a learning situation, that way a couple years down the road she might see that again and think hey I understand what their doing. Look at a chocolate chip cookie recipe, each one is different in some way but they all taste dang good.

06-23-2008, 05:09 AM	#15 (permalink)
Comp Junior Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Posts: 18	My daughter started at 14U level. I have always been one that believed the coach is the coach, and what they say goes........to a point. For the more minor issues, and her coaches also only wanted to deal with the kids. Ultimately, however, it was her mother and I that were signing the monthly checks and wether the coaches wanted to deal with parents or not, if we had an issue that we felt needed to be addressed, we would talk to them. As she progressed and started playing 18Gold, we more or less just stepped back and made her handle everything on her own. Occasionally we would talk to the coaches about certain things, or the coach may talk to us, but most everything was her responsibility. I am still one that feels the coach is the ultimate authority, but, I draw the line when it crosses to abuse.

06-23-2008, 07:36 PM	#16 (permalink)
frustratedmom Junior Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Posts: 23	99% of the time we would never interfere. My dd has always been a "yes" kind of kid and has adjusted, but many have not and teams are now bunting on us at will because our team doesn't have the physicality to handle this play. I guess frustrations are just coming to a head and the girls will just have to step up their play more. I would like to believe that if the coach wouldn't be so "pig-headed" about advice from his assistants we wouldn't be so frustrated. Again I appreciate the advice, it has been very constructive .

06-23-2008, 09:29 PM	#17 (permalink)
ang4yanks Senior Member Join Date: May 2008 Posts: 172	Frustrated... I don't see anything wrong with asking for clarification. It sounds to me as if he is trying to teach fielding a slap bunt...perhaps he is saying "bunt" and meaning slap bunt or maybe they are confusing a bunt with a slap bunt. It is unusual, to me, that a second baseman would cover a standard bunt. If asked respectively, I think it is an intelligent question. For many years we taught our children that the coach is the authority out there, and they were to do as told. If we saw something which seemed to theoretically oppose what they had been taught or what we thought was correct, we asked the coach after practice. As they have gotten older, they usually confer with us first about their question. If we cannot answer it, we will help them research the answer. They take the information or question to the coach, and if it does not yield results, we usually will speak to the coach after practice. Sometimes we find a misinterpretation. Sometimes it is a difference of opinion. When it is a difference of opinion, as athlete/parents, we usually talk through the options. A good leader embraces good questions and teaches off of them. Respect is the foundation of good communication...it is a superhighway that runs in both directions and has many intersections. If you are in a situation where the staff, athletes, and parents are respectful, I would imagine this situation will rectify itself quickly. Ang

06-25-2008, 06:12 PM	#18 (permalink)
frustratedmom Junior Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Posts: 23	I think respect is the key here. The coach doesn't show much of it to the assistant coaches and we are seeing the same tendencies with the players. It looks like the team may dissolve soon, a shame for those girls who might not get other opportunities on other teams. P.S.I don't want to get off the topic about dd's handling issues, but FYI - The bunt coverage doesn't change ever, even with runners on base.

10-19-2008, 05:53 PM	#20 (permalink)
slider201 Junior Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: South Texas Posts: 4	from Wiki: Helicopter Parent: ... a parent who pays extremely close attention to his or her child's or children's experiences and problems, particularly at educational institutions. These parents rush to prevent any harm or failure from befalling them and will not let them learn from their own mistakes, sometimes even contrary to the children's wishes. They are so named because, like helicopters, they hover closely overhead, rarely out of reach, whether their children need them or not. In Scandinavia, this phenomenon is known as curling parenthood and describes parents who attempt to sweep all obstacles out of the paths of their children. Their late-wave baby-boomer parents in turn earned notoriety for practices such as calling their children each morning to wake them up for class and complaining to their professors about grades the children had received. Some of these parents had, in fact, chosen the child's college, and hired consultants to help fine-tune the application process. Summer camp officials have also reported similar behavior from parents. The rise of the cell phone is often blamed for the explosion of helicopter parenting — it has been called "the world's longest umbilical cord".