high school question

DD is a 9th grader at her high school. The high schools here go from 9 to 12. Last year's 8th grade was spent in a middle school with no softball team. So you could imagine the excitement DD has for finally playing some school ball. Recently, DD and her school have been participating in " winter workouts." No official practicing. Just some workouts which will eventually lead into tryouts.

We, her parents, pay a very well known hitting instructor every week to help dd along her journey. We believe in his hitting model and he has had quite a few elite Division 1 students .

DD's high school coach is a strong willed young lady who actually played college ball herself and is an excellent coach in terms of pushing the girls and motivating them. After taking over the program last year, her team won a school championship.

DD was visibly upset after practice and told us that the coach tried to change a couple things in her swing. One of which was trying to get dd to "squish the bug." After DD tried it a few times, she gave up and proceeded to hit the way she's been taught. This caused the coach to make it a point to yell out in frustration and told dd that if she didn't swing the way she was telling her to, she wouldn't get any playing time. Mind you, DD has always been a middle of the lineup hitter throughout her young playing career.

For all you high school parents out there, would it be ok for me to talk to my dd's coach or should I take a wait and see approach?

I would not talk to the coach; let your DD handle it.

I do think she has a few ways to go about it.

My family is paying a hitting coach blah blah blah and I am trying to do what they are teaching me. If you think it is wrong would you mind contacting them at … so we can all get on the same page.

Other way is just do what the coach tells her, no long term harm.

(With a name of boomers dad your DD better be in the middle of the order. I am going to change my name to IfThePitcherHasAGoodCUBenchMyDD.)

Have your dd talk to the coach ASAP and say "My family is paying a hitting coach $xx every x weeks and I am trying to do what they are teaching me. If you think it is wrong, would you mind contacting them at xxx-xxx-xxxx so we can all get on the same page? I don't want to seem uncoachable and disrespectful."

Just get the hitting coach and head coach on the same page. And let/make your dd do all of the talking to the head coach.

This should really help your situation, unless your head coach is " out in left field "....

^^^agreed^^^
Do NOT intervene. Let dd handle it!
If you approach the coach, you'll be labeled as a problem parent and dd will be the one who suffers

That sounds like an excellent idea. I didn't think of having the hs coach contact her hitting coach. The only reason I felt like saying something was because dd is very shy talking to people with authority. She's also very nonconfrontational.

quincy said:

I would not talk to the coach; let your DD handle it.

I do think she has a few ways to go about it.

My family is paying a hitting coach blah blah blah and I am trying to do what they are teaching me. If you think it is wrong would you mind contacting them at … so we can all get on the same page.

Other way is just do what the coach tells her, no long term harm.

(With a name of boomers dad your DD better be in the middle of the order. I am going to change my name to IfThePitcherHasAGoodCUBenchMyDD.)

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Hahaha! Clever!

Out in Left Field said:

Most high schools do not allow coaching at winter workouts. We can coach in one on one sessions for a limited amount of time, but not when a group is present. We are also not allowed to threaten a player regarding playing or playing time in workouts, in efforts to make them do things at the workout or even make them attend. Check the rules and report the coach to the AD or request a meeting with both. If that is not sufficient, your only choice is not playing for the coach. Or don't attend the workouts and then see what happens in tryouts.

FYI: I don't reach out to private coaches because I would have to contact probably 10 or 12 of them all total (and kids change coaches like clothes; and coaches quit the business.) It is not like the private coach can come to practice or meet with me at 2:30 pm. I am not going to walk out of practice to call. So that is for the player to work out with me and then with her private coach. When I get home, it is after a 11 hour day, with my own kids at home that ain't happening either...

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Excuses..... Just what I would expect from Coach O.

A quality coach that cared would make the efforts if a player came to them directly with a technical issue.

Egos always get in the way of these issues.

"Squish the bug!" ....... "I'm not at all curious! I don't give a fart that you're going to a hitting coach! And, no one can know any more than I do anyway! Just do as I, the king, tell you to do, or be gone! Don't you know that I am God??!"

I abhor coaches who assume that if a player isn't doing it his/her way, it's necessarily wrong, and then start changing everything. Is there any humility at all in coaches?

These issues are generally lost causes. Simply tell your daughter that she must do what she thinks is correct.

DD was visibly upset after practice and told us that the coach tried to change a couple things in her swing. One of which was trying to get dd to "squish the bug." After DD tried it a few times, she gave up and proceeded to hit the way she's been taught. This caused the coach to make it a point to yell out in frustration and told dd that if she didn't swing the way she was telling her to, she wouldn't get any playing time.

Out in Left Field said:

This is pre tryouts. We are not allowed to coach, so we avoid it. It has to do with fairness to all prospective players, which could number up to 70 at that time, and 35 JV and V real players after that. All this hulabaloo and helicoptering by coaches and parents would be better focused on academics, orchestra, band, drama, choir, or something that will really be useful for the kid's careers, and not softball.

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Sounds like a practice to me if she is giving instruction.

I hate it when facts get in the way of my agenda - makes me want to squish bugs.