Daughter feels betrayed but travel ball coach...

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Jul 19, 2014
11
0
North Florida
My DD has been on her current team for 5 plus years. She is an excellent player, leads the team in hitting most of the time. She has been nothing but dedicated to her team as well as us as parents. My husband also was the dugout coach for a few years. My DD played her position for the past 5 years and has earned every bit of time she's been there.....now, the coach has overloaded the team of 15 player with two others that play her position. Now, our DD has been moved to different positions which we don't mind. However, we have discussed this issue with her coach and he gave us his word that he will follow thru with our request. We are not demanding parents and as parents don't have blinders on in regards to our DD ability to play her positions. DD can play multiple positions and very good at them all..after bringing in other players the coach has now started sitting our DD and has moved her down to the last batter. At the request of college coaches to see her at her primary position our coach will not comply. DD graduation year has been long looked at showcases college coaches now are looking at younger graduating years. DD is always respectful to her coach and players. By the way.....did I mention he plays daddy ball? By the coach sending our DD this message of moving her out of her primary position which she has earned and moved her down in the line up her confidence is now low. She loves the game and is now has issues with her confidence because of this. We feel as parents that we have failed our DD by not moving her to a different team sooner. DD feels betrayed by her coach and us as parents as well. Just venting and would like to hear others opinion on this subject. DD stayed with this organization because it is well respected.
 
Jun 27, 2011
5,089
0
North Carolina
Now, our DD has been moved to different positions which we don't mind. However, we have discussed this issue with her coach and he gave us his word that he will follow thru with our request. ... DD can play multiple positions and very good at them all..after bringing in other players the coach has now started sitting our DD and has moved her down to the last batter.

You say that the coach gave you his word that he would follow through with your request, but I've read through your post and don't see a request. What was the request?

In the past five years, has the coach added players mid-season or late-season and bumped a player like this before?
 
Jul 19, 2014
11
0
North Florida
The coach requested was please not leave the team. Players were dropping like flies, six players left over the last season. My husband agreed as long as our DD was still getting the exposure she needed.
 
Jul 19, 2014
11
0
North Florida
It really stinks that loyalty is not honored, and if a player is not up to par on something, that the coach did not make it clear what those improvements needed to be. The coach should also be clear with every player what their role is and if that role changes, to talk to her about it.

We overvalue showcases as the way to get on a college team. In my immediate area, they don't result in many placements (although it is different out in west or at the Colorado event), except for D3. The D1 placements arise out of contacting the coaches and going to camps. On top of that, teams advertise about college but then don't do anything but sign up for the tourneys. That does not get kids on college teams. A respected team will have connections to college coaches and offer academic resources so the kids are ready.

15 players is not overloading for a showcase or 18u team. But it sounds like they did not know much about recruiting and are just now getting on board. I bet the coach's kid is younger than yours....

One question on showcases:
Why would your coach bat his 5 commited player first in the line up? I am not understanding that either?
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Dec 12, 2013
90
8
B.C. Canada
If you want loyalty, go buy a dog. Just because your DD has played for the same coach for 5 years doesn't entitle her to anything.
What is she doing away from the field to improve her game. Does she arrive early and stay late.
It's her job to make it impossible for the coach not to play her. Competition for spots is good for the team, including your DD.
She needs to have that fire in her belly and fight if that's what she truly wants.
Maybe she's doing all these things already. Study the 33% rule and make it a way of life.
 
Jun 27, 2011
5,089
0
North Carolina
The coach requested was please not leave the team. Players were dropping like flies, six players left over the last season. My husband agreed as long as our DD was still getting the exposure she needed.

So you feel the coach made a promise to provide the exposure she needed, and then broke that promise? Was everyone clear on what that promise meant? To coach, it might've meant that she'll remain in the starting lineup (both in field and batting). To husband, it might've meant still batting high and playing a specific position. If coach specifically promised that she's continue to play a certain position and bat a certain position and broke that promise, then I can understand the feeling of betrayal.


We have seen our coach bring other players in and slowing push our the girls he didn't want on the team anymore doing the same as he's done to our DD.

If you've seen the coach bring in other players in mid-season or late-season, then the coach has demonstrated his policy through these actions, and you might have to bear some of the responsibility for the outcome. You chose a team whose philosophy has been find the best players, any time, any where.

That doesn't mean it's right. Not a fan of these kinds of teams.

Competition for spots is good for the team, including your DD.

There's some truth in your post, but I believe there is such a thing as too much competition. There must be a balance between competition and security/loyalty. Except in rare cases, I don't believe that it is good for a 5-year-veteran of a 15-player softball team to be worried about a 16th player showing up in July and taking her spot. There's plenty of competition already on a 15-player roster, and there's competition to make the team in the first place. The message coaches are sending to children is ''I don't see you as a person, but purely as an athlete. If you produce, I like you. If you don't, I don't need you.''
 
May 7, 2008
8,506
48
Tucson
Same thing happened to my niece. She was the long time catcher. Her parents were friends with the coach. But, after catching every game for 3 years, her knees were feeling it. How did they reward her? They called her up at age 15 and cut her. They wanted to bring in a new girl and she wouldn't come without her friend, so the coach showed loyalty by cutting my niece.
 
Dec 7, 2011
2,368
38
Always remember you are NOT alone. This story is told I bet 50% of the time by TB-A parents. Just write it off and move along to another team next year that will give your DD a better opportunity to play what/where she wants.

My DD had two absolute CRAP seasons in TB-A from 8th grade through Senior in HS and still her D1 dream is fulfilled. So there is urgency but there IS time to do the right thing for your DD.
 

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