Thread: What Does an Offer Really Mean?

If you get an offer from a "club" team for your daughter to play what does it actually mean?

Case in point. We were offered, was with the team for 5 months and then for all practical purposes cut.

Come to find out that the only reason we received an offer was the coach was desperate to fill a position. Once another girl was found that was "better" to fill that position we became expendable so he jettisoned us.

Not complaining. If this is the way he treats people than I don't want my kid playing for him anyway. Just wondered what the Offer/Acceptance really means. It's not binding. It's really meaningless.

First thing to remember as you stated was given the way the coach handled the situation you don't want to be in that kind of environment.

Now to the crux of the matter. While you are understandably upset the answer is it depends. Usually agreement with teams are for a set "season". In other words through nationals or whatever capstone tournament the team is shooting for or through the year since that is when girls will age out (if the team has mixed year groups) and they might have to rotate rosters. That being said things happen, girls move away, upset parents pull their kids and so sometimes the organization need to pick up players to fill their roster spots in the middle of the year. Obviously their are always exception and some coahces do just what you said get a group of girls together and then continue recruiting and replacing weaker girls with stronger one and like we already mentioned you don't really want to be in that environment anyway

The other obvious question is you state "for all practical purposes cut" what does that mean. If the team usually carries 12 and they had 11 and some superstar shows up and now instead of playing you DD sits the bench every single game and never gets played and you decide you are not paying $$$ for your DD to sit the bench that is not being "cut". Is the coach less than admirable for not figuring out how to let your DD play some of the pool games sure but I have never seen any coach worth his salt that would promise someone they would always play every game.

A Superstar didn't walk in. Someone better than my kid in his opinion did. It was an incremental upgrade I suppose.

My problem with it was to make it not about the kid that replaced mine he told my kid and I that my kid was incapable of playing at the level the team was going to compete at.

My daughter played all fall with the team and did pretty well.

Either way I'm dammed because no matter how I phrase or discuss this I'll sound like "Mr. Delusional Parent" which is the exact opposite of what I want.

You did (David) at least confirm what I thought. The offer is meaningless.

Several of the marquee organizations in our area already have 14-15 players on their rosters and it seems like they are constantly having new potential players show up at their practices looking for new/better talent. They typically will not cut their existing players as you have described, but a lot of players leave on their own accord when they realize their chances of seeing meaningful playing time are slim to none......

Oh, we weren't "cut" exactly. We were told that my daughter was incapable of playing to the level required and would see zero playing time.

What makes me mad is he waited 5 months after the offer to tell us and nothing changed with her ability except a new better player coming in. I don't appreciate being used. The new player joined in October. We didn't get the bad news until now.

Bottom line is it's my fault. I should have known better. I feel foolish.

No midseason conversation like "hey-Id like to see your DD improve at ......and Ill help" "Dad if you dont chill in the stands ......" "Your DD atitude needs improving......" etc etc

If no effort was made to develop the player or improve on a code of conduct concern then you have a crappy coach and are better off.

Believe it or not they exist (oh god they exist in large numbers-people doing this for the wrong reasons)

Originally Posted by EP Dad

Either way I'm dammed because no matter how I phrase or discuss this I'll sound like "Mr. Delusional Parent" which is the exact opposite of what I want.

Not necessarily. ...

imo, head coaches have a ethical responsibility to communicate to parents and players their philosophy regarding (1) playing time, (2) roster size and (3) what can get a player cut from the team.

If this was not communicated in preseason and your daughter was dumped purely because of her softball skills, then I think it's wrong. Parents and players should be able to make the choice about whether they want to be on a team like this. If they're caught by surprise in January, then the head coach should answer for it.

Shoot, I'm really sorry. That's terrible. I don't think you should feel foolish, this is a case of "when bad things happen to good people". Hopefully now you can find a team where the girls support eachother and the coaches actually want to coach, instead of just filling the lineup card on game day.

Originally Posted by EP Dad

Either way I'm dammed because no matter how I phrase or discuss this I'll sound like "Mr. Delusional Parent" which is the exact opposite of what I want.

You did (David) at least confirm what I thought. The offer is meaningless.

Not necessarily, on either.

Your DD received and accepted an offer to play on a team during the fall season. You're saying she wasn't cut, but that the coach told you she won't get any playing time this spring. In a situation like that, he's doing you a favor by allowing you to go out and find another place for her to play before the season gets going.

You don't sound delusional in this post, but I can't say the same for some of your others. I think you were right to believe that your DD would be a part of this team through this summer, but at the same time, it is 14u, where it seems like coaches tend to be more about winning than about player development. Good luck in finding the right team for her.

Originally Posted by EP Dad

Bottom line is it's my fault. I should have known better. I feel foolish.

It is not your fault. You expected that the head coach offered your DD a spot on the team and that he had your DD's best interest at heart like you do. Unfortunately, he didn't - he had his own best interest at heart. It happens a lot with coaches looking to improve their team by recruiting better players, rather than improving the players they have. You are right, your DD is better off on a different team, and I hope you find a coach that will do right by your DD.