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About LinkBacksTypically the first week of june is the end of school.
Typically the first week of june is the end of school.
RB, the drama can really get to some girls. My younger daughter decided to forego her senior year of HS softball partially because of the coach, and partially because of the drama (which the coach seemed to encourage). I was disappointed, but it was her decision.
Perhaps with a little time off she'll rediscover the fire. Given the way so many people take it all way too seriously it's not surprising to find A level teams with a diva mentality. But they're not all like that. And I agree you shouldn't just automatically assume she has to play A-level. Maybe a team with less pressure will help her rediscover her love for the game.
Ultimately, though, it's her decision. Whatever she wants, support her. She'll be your daughter a lot longer than she'll be your softball player.
Ken Krause
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RubberBiscuit (08-02-2012)
No matter what happened in the past the future is hers and hers alone. When they reach a certain age the game belongs solely to the players. You are not going to be able to force a player who had made a decision to quit playing "want" to play.If she didn’t have all this potential I would just let this go but it’s just too difficult after all our investments.
Any words of wisdom from any of you that have “been there and done that”?
Over the years I've seen several talented kids give up ball for all kinds of reasons. I know of a girl with a full ride who called the coach up 2 weeks before she was due to report and tell the coach she changed her mind about playing. They do it at all ages.
Love her and support her in what she wants to do. There is NOTHING more important to her.
RubberBiscuit (08-03-2012)
Reading your list brought back a lot of memories so I thought I'd list some of mine. Just a little shorter.Man I love this game. Sorry if I made most of you vomite or need a laxative after this post. I've cherished every moment with my daughter. This being her senior year has this dad really sad. I sure wish we were back in 6u and could live all this again.
Fr year in HS had no Varsity softball. Played Soph. Didn't lose a game in the circle.
Soph year in HS won State Championship as a 1st year varsity program with no seniors on the team. DD pitched the final 2 innings of championship game after contracting food poisoning and spending the first day of the tournament in bed.
Jr year came up one game short of HS Tournament finals. Had a 0.36 era pitching in the toughest conference in the State while getting several awards. Never got the easy games. Always pitched against the good teams.
Sr year missed a good part of it with a severely sprained ankle on the landing foot. Still finished well.
For the three varsity years the DD's era was less than 1 and she averaged 12 K's per 7 innings. She'd been written up in the paper more times than I can remember. She played with and against girls who ended up playing in the WCWS and at the international level.
Freshman year in college pitched well. Coach handed her the ball for the conference championship game.
Soph year in college was ranked top 10 nationally in K's per 7 with 9.6 per 7.
Jr year in college was ranked top 20 nationally in K's per 7 with 8.5 per 7.
Sr year in college pitched her 8th seeded team to the conference championship game. Something that had never been done in their conference before.
After the last game was over I can still remembering hugging her and crying along with her knowing her journey had come to it's end. That day I told her she would never have to pitch competitively again unless she wanted to. She hasn't since then. And she's been fine with it. She completed the journey on her terms.
It went by so fast I could hardly believe it when it was over. Take the time enjoy it and don't sweat the small stuff. There is soooo much more that's fun to remember. I still find myself going through the pictures I have stored on my computer every once in a while. I think back on all the would have's, could have's and should have's over the years and the one thing I'm glad I know I did right was to listen to the those who've gone before and heeded their advice. Even when I thought they were crazy. It made the journey easier for my DD.
Last edited by Sparky Guy; 08-03-2012 at 01:11 AM.
GOINGDEEP (08-03-2012)
DD turned 18 yesterday a young woman whom I am very proud of. If she quit SB today I know she is a better person for having played the game, she played SB and BB and had the choice of SB or BB scholarships and chose SB. SB and BB taught her many lessons that will follow her through the rest of her life.
I cannot tell you how much I have enjoyed the games of catch, batting practice, fielding practice and seeing her and her friends grow and improve as SB player\players. I am a better person myself for being a part of her/their softball experience. RB it sounds like the love of the game was stolen from your daughter rather than her losing the love of the game. Bad experiences from poor coaches, teams and players who bring drama and poor attitudes can take the fun out anything.
My daughter has experienced the same at times, she has played on teams that played as individuals and not as a team with teammates who love drama more than SB. She is lucky enough to have landed on a team that has coaches who are more interested in the players than winning and team mates who are interesting in getting better as players and who are her friends. You could not drag her off this team or away from SB currently.
IMO the decision should be up to her, if she does not have the desire to work and grow as a player then it is going to be less and less fun for her as time goes on. Sometimes SB is the best thing in some kids lives, of the kids who I know that have quit three are pregnant out of wedlock (one having her second child she is 17) two have drug arrest. I’m not saying that it happens to every kid who quits SB, but without SB they look to fill a void in their life and sometimes they make bad choices.
Whatever she decides she needs your love and support, I would start out by having her read this thread there are many good post which could help her make her decision.
Good luck to her what ever she decides!!!!!!
Last edited by PEPPERS; 08-03-2012 at 02:31 PM.
GOINGDEEP (08-03-2012),MsDinosaur (09-25-2012),RubberBiscuit (08-03-2012)
Your DD is by no means alone when it comes to a very poor HS softball situation. For the last few years each spring around us a travel coach has been taking a group of girls who are not playing HS ball for various reasons and forms a temporary team out of them. They travel to a couple of neighboring states who schedule their HS ball in the fall and summer to play in a few tournaments, keeping the girls skills sharp and playing. Nothing super heavy or intense. Just keeping them playing games.My younger daughter decided to forego her senior year of HS softball partially because of the coach, and partially because of the drama (which the coach seemed to encourage). I was disappointed, but it was her decision.
DDs season has just ended and I received an email from the coach about the open tryouts in two weeks. I'm not mentioning it to DD until just before. I think she could use a little down time to unwind from the no break 10 weeks of tournaments.
Good luck and I hope you two can find something mutually engaging to keep you close.
I feel your pain brother!…My dd has informed me she has decided to go into medical school (which i knew) and not play softball at college, nor TB next year.
I kind of seen it coming. She's been a yo-yo about playing in college and never got excited about the colleges where she could play.
During TB season…it was like a reminiscence season….the last month and a half.
She started doing things like…getting me and her in pictures more the last couple of tournaments….and saying remember when so and so happened.
Before the world series she ask if I could be there for the whole week ……and if we could stay at another hotel away from the team…so we would have more time together. We did and we had a great time.
During this season….Dd had continued to work hard but the main group of other girls didn't. I was thinking to myself…i wish i had of lead her to A level team so she would of played with people that put in as much extra time at their skill as she does hers…but reading RB's post and these others gives me a another perspective. Thank you
I have had soooo many memories flooding my brain over the last month and a half…its over whelming at times.
While i have a ton of memories about her playing and her accomplishments….One that ranks highest wasn't on the field. When she was 14…she wrote me a letter for Christmas…. thanking me for all I had done for her in softball. I know her grandmother put her up to it….but It was so touching….It will always be the best present I have ever received.
She is playing her final HS season….Its her HS senior season coming up….HS fall ball practices and tryouts start on Monday…and when they began…me and her don't get to practice together. We both realize that….and knew this week…..would be our last week together practicing. So Weds practice… we did it out in the yard where we did it when she was just a little girl. It too was like a rush of memories.
Yesterday was the tough day….it was our last pitching session together. We practiced, went and ate, reminisced and teared up. I am sure we will play catch again but this was the last purposeful practice together.
I have mixed emotions…..I am sad because something that has been great is coming to an end…but I have known its going to happen at some point anyway. I think I am more sad because….my little girl has grown up. I am happy and proud of the person she has become…. and I am thankful to the game of softball… for the role its played in our lives.
While I will continue with softball….she and I…. will move on to another aspect of life. I will cherish this last HS season like no other and will definitely keep my sun glasses nearby for the post season awards banquet and senior night.
She will miss it and she could change her mind as she has time left….but I don't think she will. I think she will jump into her next phase of life with the gusto, dedication and effort that she put into softball.
I hope each person that goes thru this process with their daughter and softball….enjoys it and keeps it in perspective….whether they go on to college or not…cause like the other poster said……the time has just gone by sooo dang fast.
Cannonball (08-04-2012),starsnuffer (08-06-2012)
DD's freshman year of school/TB finished Wednesday morning. Her team was in the same event in NC as jjlay's, Atlantabell's and a few others. The team finished in the middle of the pack @ .500 for the week; more than acceptable against the teams in this event. Not her best week, not her worst. Success at the plate, less in the circle.
HS season was not easy. She stepped up to the plate to fill a varsity pitching void and kept her team in every game, though not winning all that many. She had the opportunity to pitch in the teams County, Group & State tourament games, losing the state tournament game on back-to-back suicide squeeze plays in the bottom of the 7th inning. Her hitting was ok, many balls hit right on the nose but at a defender the entire year. Just one of those years.
Upon arriving home from NC she went looking on line to see what 16/18 teams are holding try-outs in the next two weeks. She needs to conclude her try-out process by mid-month as high school field hockey pre-season begins on 8/16 and free time will be at a premium.
As long as she continues to enjoy softball great. If not she can switch her athletic attention to field hockey, which she does enjoy. I've come to learn there is a club/travel subculture in field hockey, not unlike softball. No idea if the parents are as "animated" as softball parents, but we'll see.
She'll certainly continue to play softball for her HS team as it is as much a social thing as competition. We'll know a bunch more about the ability to play at the next level at the end of this next club ball cycle this time next year. Its her call.
I'm back!! (not that I am expecting anyone to have noticed ;-) )
So after not bringing up SB to DD since early August she comes to me last night out of nowhere and says, "I don't know what I was thinking dad and I miss SB big-time".
Wow,.... couldn't be happier....
Of course we are past TB tryouts and that is my biggest concern at this point. I am hoping that once the word gets out that this re-focused all-state pitcher is not affiliated that some how some way a team will be able to pick her up.
Anyways I can get back to my addiction with all you folks again!
(It was a cool get-away. DD found out that I still love & enjoy her even if she isn't my college-pitching-prospect-child. I found out that I am not that bad of a home handy-man when I actually have time away from the field! :-) )
GOINGDEEP (09-24-2012),MsDinosaur (09-25-2012)
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