I'd really appeciate advice from any parents who have "been there, done that" and were able to change or spouses who survived.
DH is on the softball roller coaster with our oldest DD. She's 17, rising senior, plays 18U gold on a well-known, established east coast organization that has a reputation for sending players to college. She is a strong defensive player, fast hands, but inconsistent hitter (either really on or really off). loves the game, and is always told by coaches that she has a great attitude and work ethic. She loves to play, but also likes to have fun. I guess that can sometimes come across as goofy or unfocused - it drives DH crazy. DH thinks she could play D1 at a smaller school; I think she is more suited to a D2 or 3 where she can have a balance of softball and college experience.
The issue is the up and down attitude from DH based on the most recent game, inning, play, at bat, etc. If she did well - she's great, working hard, everything is sunshine and roses. If she has an error, strikes out, grounds out, has a lazy fly ball, she's not working, is lazy, will be waiting tables because he's not helping her pay for college. About a year and a half ago she quit playing completely because she couldn't handle the constant fighting with him over softball; they didn't speak unless it was an absolute necessity for 3 months. She decided to go back and play for herslf, made a good team, and is talking to a few small D1 schools and a couple of D3s. DH was better for a while, but is starting to show the old signs of the roller coaster ride again. Today she bobbled a ball in the outfield. When he talked to her after the game he said she had an attitude and he doesn't care if she plays or not. This moodiness is affecting his relationship with the DD, our other DD who also plays softball, and our marriage. The biggest arguements we've ever had have been over softball - sometimes I wish we'd never heard of travel ball. I'm tired of being stuck in the middle and dealing with his moodiness.
Does anyone have any advice?